About In memory of Matthew Winn
Matt was a wildfire. He was so passionate that some days the warmth of that flame was comforting and very nice. Other days the flames raged and they became hot enough to burn you. He loved so hard and his heart was for the best but Matt struggled with hurt that, even as his brother I would know some details but he buried it so deep that he and others didn’t know how real the pain was for him. I, and so many others, begged him time after time to pursue the right help to uncover the pain from the trauma and hurt that we faced together in our lives.
These words don’t come to shine light on a very tragic situation to “out” a very disappointing decision but more so to make everyone aware that my brother lost his life-long battle with mental health. It doesn’t make sense because Matt was so driven, worked so hard, accomplished so much, he was loved by so many people, had a wonderful relationship with his 5 year old daughter, but so many are left wondering “what could I have done differently to change this outcome?”
We can be there for anyone we love but the sole responsibility for an individuals mental health is theirs alone. We all struggle. We all have things that keep us awake at times, but we all have a choice to continue fighting. My brother was fighting for so long that substance abuse couldn’t help anymore and internal mental battles eventually took over.
I encourage us all to check on our friends, family, loved ones, but more than anything asking ourselves as people about the internal mental and emotional struggles that EVERYONE faces and asks, “what more can I do to better myself” so that no one who loves you has to face a loss like this one day. Regardless of how difficult a temporary circumstance is - your life matters - and if you struggle and feel overwhelmed with thoughts of self-harm, do not allow shame to corner you into feeling like you’re the only person struggling - bring it out into the light and contact someone you love and trust. If you don’t have anyone who fits that criteria - contact me and we can find the appropriate people to help.
Your life can feel like it’s in shambles and there is nothing worth continuing on for - but I’m telling you right now that’s a lie so do not be deceived.
I loved my brother and I honor him by taking his situation to see that no one else has to hide their pain but may they live knowing the struggles don’t define them as individuals and that life will get better beyond the dark days.
Matt, I love you and I find peace knowing you aren’t hurting anymore. You rest now. I will see you again someday.
If you feel led to contribute to this fund, we would appreciate any level contribution that can be made on Matt’s behalf. More than anything, we encourage you to exhaust Every opportunity to find those in your sphere of influence and check on them, love them, and educate yourselves on how the real impact of mental illness and how you can help those in need during their time of need.
I love you all.
